Planetoid Playground

So here's a poem I wrote called "Planetoid Playground": An analogy between pre-adolescent kids and the rugrats of the solar system. The poem features none other than our very own playground bully, the egotistical Earth. We follow Earth on his ruthless tirade as he insults and belittles his planet-peers. We'll zoom in on his relentless torment of poor, ole' Jupiter. The poem was inspired just from my experience and observations of the remarks that tended to go around the playground (included those to and from myself). I thought a poem would be  a nice change of pace to the blog and poems are awesome ways towards "creative release."

The poem was actually started years ago when my playground days were more vibrant, but I pulled it out of the recesses of my computer files and dusted it off. There are several revisions and another stanza-full of lines as my abusive flow poured down on Jupiter.

Though the entirety of it is not based on myself, I could see bits and pieces of my former, more immature years. This Earth character, in all honesty, can really be applied to a vast majority of the youth. All it takes is some sort of advantage, whether of size or wit, and a peer fit for subjugation. Most outgrow it. Some, unfortunately, don't.

"Planetoid Playground"

 So there was Earth, with his lackey the moon, 

Who called Uranus lame and Mars a buffoon. 

“Why even the stars don’t hang around Pluto. 

He’s not even a planet, that lonesome, little weirdo.” 

“Never once have I seen Saturn's ring shine nor gleam, 

And Jupiter clearly needs to lay off the ice cream.” 

“You have got to kidding me. A twelve year orbit?

Well here's my diagnosis: Obesity - morbid."

"Bigger than the Death Star, full of even deadlier gas,

You've got to be at least five million times my mass!"

"Heard of acne ointment? You're gonna need a lot

Covering up that 300 year old Great Red Spot."

"Lemon blossom cupcakes or strawberry rhubarb pie?

Which satisfies thy taste, oh god of thunder...thighs?" 

Jupiter held in the tears, never having felt so low

As Earth prepared to deal a final crushing blow.

But Sunny, cool as a star, went ahead and said,

"You revolve around me. Shut up, you airhead.”